Today, I learned three new questions that each and every one of us should ask ourselves. That is if you are feeling stuck, unsuccessful, or just not reaching the potential you know you can. After months of sitting on my bookshelf, this morning something told me to pick up "The Secret Code of Success" by Noah St. John. I picked up where I left off on Chapter 8 page 167 to be exact. It's funny how we hear or read, exactly what we need to hear or read, exactly when we need to hear or read it. Make sense, it does for me exactly every time it happens, which is almost daily.

Now back to those three questions you should be asking yourself. I am not in any place to tell you what to do, so I will suggest that if you are ready to see why you may be stuck or not as successful as you know you can be. Then here we go.

The first question Noah says that you should ask yourself is, "Who are you trying to protect"? It sounded funny to me when I first read it too, but once I understood the importance of asking yourself this question it made sense. One reason many of us hold ourselves back from becoming successful is that we may be trying to protect someone or just as likely ourselves from our success. So, again, "Who are you trying to protect"? I immediately answered with my husbands name, but after further investigating I realized it was not him but me that I was trying to protect. "Why", well that is the next part of the question you should ask yourself. For me the answer lies with my fear of having to provide more, be more, have more expected of me. All of these answers immediately occurred to me. Next "How has it helped me"? This answer will probably come pretty easy, fast and fierce- it did for me. I realized, of course it isn't helping me, I was expecting my husband to be more, provide more, so I stopped working on my business, stopped looking for new clients. Your answers may be hard to accept but try to just sit without judgment of yourself, and see what happens. Maybe a big sigh, maybe tears, maybe a smile you never know, but any of it is ok.

This next question was a real kick in the belly for me. So here it goes, "Who are you trying to punish"? Wow, was I, are you trying to punish someone? I have to admit, yes I was. Yes, my husband. "Why" I realized I was tired of feeling like I had to be the provider, make more, be more, fix it, figure it all out. Ouch, it was hard for me to admit and swallow that all these years, 11-13 years I have been trying to punish the man I love, the man I married, the man I had children with. "How it's hurt them"? Oooh, this is a good one. I believe it has hurt him and our marriage, but more so it has hurt me. I feel angry a lot of the time, many times I chose not to sit next to him and we don't have much conversation. How could all of this not have hurt or affected him. Now, that I see this I can start to undo what I have done. Thank goodness in this case there is a chance for a do over.

The last question, "Who are you trying to please"? I would say that I wasn't trying to please my husband and I surely wasn't pleasing myself. You may find in your current situation that this fits for you, you may be living to please someone else. "Why"? Be open and willing to find the answer. "What I'm really afraid of"? Again, allow yourself to openly answer this question and find what your real fears are. Through writing this today, I would have to say- I was afraid to admit that I was the only one that believed, "I had to be more, provide more, fix it, figure it all out". What brings me the most joy is knowing that this is just a thought it is not truth nor does it have to be my reality. Life is good. It is up to you to ask yourself these three little questions.